Well, a start. Been meaning to start one of these newfangled do-hickeys called a 'blog'. Scary stuff these 'internets' where some disgusting meat banging pervert in Uzbekistan is on the other side reading my posts. But I'll take the plunge, and risk having a few new weird stalkers trying to add me on 'facebook'.

I have looked at other blogs, and my general reaction is zzzzzz. Come the f**k on! Sorry for my language. The average level of writing is atrocious and they fail to interest me as much as pussy fails to intrest Elton John. If you didn't understand that gtfo. That's why I have decided to start a blog, to show the world what a blog should be. It will be different from other blogs; • It will be good looking • It will be smart and subtle • It will be humorous • It will not be about clothes and food • It will be relevant. So in summary it will be Awesome!

So as this blog will 'be unlike any over blog' *deep scary commercial voice* (don't you just love that voice) I will put down some rules for us to follow, and some disclaimers for people reading. (Maybe I should have a big warning at the top of the page: 'Sensitive viewers are advised to stay the hell away from this blog')

1.  I will not, repeat, I WILL NOT feel obliged to post here. That means I refuse to feel 'guilty for not having posted for a while'. I won't cry in my sleep because the Uzbeki pervert can't read about my day to day happenings. Unlike other 'blogs' I will not create no-content posts about 'I ate a bagel today, and then I pooed it out, and then I met some friends' just to fill up dry spells when my head is empty. Truth is I don't want to  commit myself to another thing that sucks time. I don't want to come home tomorrow and think 'crap I have so  much to do that i'll skipping eating my traditional tasty sandwich to post about the tree that sort of looked like a slaughtered sheep that I saw on my way home'. Posts may come once a week or twice in a day, I don't care neither should you.

2.  Hello there mr. uzbeki pervert! I understand your need to see good looking young swedish teens and pretend to be part of their life. I accept that I can't stop you from looking at my pictures and reading my blog, short of putting a password on the blog (besides the thought of your beady little eyes scanning over my pictures doesn't nearly scare me as much as losing potential readers due to password protection). I accept all this, but what I don't want you doing is begging me to put up pictures of me and giving out information about me and my friends. I'm sorry if my morals are different from yours, but in my world it is weird to remotely molest people. You hear that mr? WEIRD!

The disclaimer will continue in the next post, since it's getting kind of long and my brain hurts from thinking. Oh yes and since blog readers have no patience and get bored so quickly (spoiled brats) here's a picture. It may have tricked you into reading this post thinking it had something to with me nipple twisting myself on the great wall of china. If that was the case, bad luck, it didn't.